In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
