wake up i wanna do it froggy style
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
