Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you win again, gameday.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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