I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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