Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
