If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize