I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
