I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
