so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
