haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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