the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
