Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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