Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
