doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
