She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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