So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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