its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
