Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
