please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize