Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
