Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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