When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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