Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The beer is more important than you right now.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize