nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
