so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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