One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
