she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
