bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize