just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Be still, my beating vagina.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
