I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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