I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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