You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
