Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
