Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
