I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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