got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
