i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize