Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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