Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
