I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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