He is such a slut. More and more my type.
4 words: hood of his car
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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