I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
