she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
