did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
