Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
