Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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