I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You smell like stripper and shame
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
