k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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