I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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