There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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