Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
