Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
