I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
