I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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