so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
