just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
