girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
