And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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