I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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