I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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