He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
