One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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