i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
high people should be assigned attendants
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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